Have you ever been working out, or training for a sport, or running the mile in gym class, and you thought you were going to throw up? Were you told that was normal? Were you praised for working hard?

As many of you know, playing soccer was my passion (and still is, despite tearing my ACL in August while playing). I trained hard for a long time, playing on as many as 3 teams at a time at one point. When I was 14 I played on a team coached by a former Olympic gold medalist and women's national team player. Every other month we would have fitness testing, comprised of a series of sprinting intervals (including sprinting 120 yards, 10 times in a row, in under 60 seconds for each sprint).

During one of those sprint intervals I remember telling my coach I thought I was going to throw up. Her answer: "That's good. It's called fitness."

It's called fitness. That phrase has been etched in my brain for 20 years. It stuck there and made such an impact on me that when I was creating my LLC in order to purchase the FIT4MOM franchise, I literally named my business "It's Called Fitness, LLC".

And the sad thing is I believed it. But not in a positive way. I let it tear me down; I didn't think I was fit enough to play at the high caliber level I was at. I didn't think I was good enough. And it wasn't until recent years that I realized this, unpacking past experiences.

The fact is we grew up with toxic diet culture, toxic motivational phrasing, toxic fitness messaging. But it's wrong. It's a fallacy. Fitness, movement, physical activity - whatever you want to call it - is not supposed to be so hard it makes us throw up. We shouldn't feel "like we're going to die" from a workout (in fact, this study proves just the opposite). But we've been trained to believe that. We've let it shape our thought patterns, making us feel less-than if we couldn't finish a workout, that we weren't good enough or strong enough or fit enough, ultimately diminishing our self-worth.

If you've ever had a similar experience, just know you're not alone. Your self-worth is not defined by a toxic message, or a former coach, fitness instructor, or PE teacher (or whoever!). It's defined by you.